Idol single is a load of schmaltzy twaddle

Stand by for a revelation, Potato fans. The Australian Idol winner’s single is crap.

That news is about as surprising as the fact that the Idol runners-up end up having more successful careers than the actual winner.

But this year, there were magic clues, dead giveaways and obvious signs as to just how high on the crap-o-meter this one would rate.

Let us examine the evidence found cryptically hidden in the songs sung by the two finalists on Sunday night.

Matt “Any Relation To Schapelle?” Corby sang High and Dry by Jamie Cullum, no doubt in reference to exactly how his musical credibility will be left once he wins the big one on Sunday night.

The skinny-jean-wearing one then gave a sorry attempt at Wolfmother’s Mind’s Eye that would have made Andrew Stockdale’s locks curl, if his shaggy mop wasn’t already the wonderful retro bundle of coils and twists that it is. It was as horrific a place, no doubt, as the mind’s eye of the writer of the winner’s song.

Cue Natalie “Not Quite Gucci” Gauci and her rendition of Running Up That Hill – obviously a metaphor for her approach to the competition’s finish line.

Nat, like Thomas the Tank Engine, may think she can, but all the positive affirmations in the world won’t get her to the top of this Idol hill.

Her second song was the most appropriately titled of the night: Apologise.
Yes, something every single person associated with every single version of the show should do, publicly and immediately.

The winner’s song Here I Am is formulaic, schmaltzy twaddle that does as much service to music as George Bush does to Mensa.

Careful Australia, it’s Idol finale time and this awful mish-mash of bung notes and dull vocals will be unleashed onto an airwave near you very soon, so plug your ears with cotton wool NOW to muffle the sound and to soak up the red stuff when your ears bleed.

source: http://www.thedaily.com.au/blogs/couch-potato/2007/nov/20/twaddle/